“What’s my story?” I happened to ask myself one afternoon when I had few seconds to stretch my sore muscles between the therapy sessions lined up for the day. “Is it what you pretend to the world or what lies beneath your scared and healed skin?” My mind questioned me. I was suddenly confused about the real story, The Real Story of My Life? The one which is hidden perfectly within the wide smiles and or the one which no body will dare to understand. “What is my story?” I am still struggling to analyze. He was the most beautiful mistake I had made in my life. Yeah, we were fools to breakup after 8 years of relationship and 13 years of friendship which was nurtured with childhood stupidity, passionate love and consistent care and support for each other. But as many great love stories end, even our ended. After all those years of memories, even hatred turned into sweet, innocent emotions. And now when I think of our relationship, of course I think of him every single day though, it was the happiest days of my life. Small things we shared then, feel like a volcanic pleasure now. It gives a euphoric and balanced peace for my mind and soul. I happened to be a good daughter in the eyes of society and my parents but constantly lying about my veiled life as they won’t accept the concept I was born with. They won’t understand as they never felt that way. I don’t blame them. I smile. I am trying to be a good physical therapist, caring and trying to add, whatever little or big things to restore their health to the best I can but the artist in me sometimes demands to paint, carves to write a small piece of story or few lines to inspire the world around. Lastly, I am trying to make myself fall in love again with anyone or someone who will care and love me and my family but my soul and body still pleads to love him again, give us a chance again. It gets difficult sometimes maybe because I have never fallen out of his love; he was always there, in me, in my prayers and my dreams. “So what is my real story? And who is the real me?” The one which I am portraying to be in this judgmental world or the one which I am carrying inside me, hiding and living at the same time. It’s complicated and complex, we struggle and fight to be what the world want us to be and hunger after the one we could have been easily without any pain, what we actually are. It’s controversial but I think, “At the end, this is how life is. This is what life is.” And we all have those two lives and the two worlds, the one we desire and the one we are struggling in. The one we are controlling and the one which sets us free. The one which is consciously planned and the one which is subconsciously created with the experiences and emotions. So like me, we all need to change our story! Find the real story. The real self as this life is beautiful and living real will make it happier and easy to live in. Analyze your story and once found, never let it go. Live the real you.
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